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32 Motivational and Funny Sales Quotes To Brighten Your Workday

A good laugh can help ease stress and reinvigorate a salesperson’s drive toward sales success in the fast-paced and often pressure-filled sales world. Humor is an essential tool for lightening the mood and fostering a positive sales environment, be it through clever sales memes circulating in office emails or the witty banter between colleagues. 

If you’re searching for a quick chuckle or some lighthearted inspiration, these 32 funny sales quotes will add zest to your sales journey.

32 Motivational and Funny Sales Quotes

1. “A-B-C. A-Always, B-Be, C-Closing. Always be closing, always be closing.” – A humorous twist on Alec Baldwin’s speech from the movie “Glengarry Glen Ross.”

2. “Make friends first, make sales second, make love third. In no particular order.” – Michael Scott, “The Office.”

3. “The elevator to health, happiness, and success [for a salesman] is ‘out of order.’ You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.” – Joe Girard

4. “Why is it a ‘close’ if it’s supposed to be the start of a customer relationship?” – Anonymous, poking fun at sales terminology.

5. “You don’t need a big close as many sales reps believe. You risk losing your customer when you save all the good stuff for the end. Keep the customer actively involved throughout your presentation, and watch your results improve.” – Harvey Mackay

6. “The best time to call me is email.” – Anonymous, reflecting the modern salesperson’s preference for digital communication.

7. “To be successful in sales, simply talk to lots of people every day. And here’s what’s exciting — there are lots of people!” – Jim Rohn

8. “People don’t buy for logical reasons. They buy for emotional reasons.” – Zig Ziglar, renowned sales expert and motivational speaker.

9. “I design, manufacture, distribute, and sell elevator buttons. I also install and repair them. I thought it was a good idea at first, but now I’m starting to come down.” – Anonymous, a play on words.

10. “Nothing is impossible; some things are just less likely than others.” – Jonathan Winters, offering a comedic yet optimistic perspective on sales challenges.

11. “You know you’re a salesperson when your lie detector test is inconclusive on every question except your name.” – Anonymous, humorously addressing the stereotype of salespeople bending the truth.

12. “Sales are contingent upon the attitude of the salesman, not the attitude of the prospect.” – W. Clement Stone, highlighting the power of positivity in sales.

13. “I could sell ice to an Eskimo, but he’d probably just let it melt and drink it.” – Anonymous, illustrating the futility of unnecessary persuasion.

14. “Remember, it’s not just about being better at selling, it’s about being so good, they can’t ignore you.” – Steve Martin, comedian and actor, offering advice on excellence.

15. “The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!” – Marvin Phillips, encouraging extra effort in sales endeavors.

16. “Selling is a lot like tennis; if you don’t serve well, you lose immediately.” – Anonymous, drawing parallels between sports and sales strategies.

17. “If you’re not making mistakes, then you’re not doing anything. I’m positive that a doer makes mistakes.” – John Wooden, emphasizing the importance of taking risks in sales.

18. “The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” – Vidal Sassoon, highlighting the hard work behind sales success.

19. “Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust.” – Zig Ziglar on sales challenges.

20. “Opportunity doesn’t make appointments; you have to be ready when it arrives.” – Tim Fargo, on being prepared for sales opportunities.

21. “A good salesperson knows how to talk; a great salesperson knows how to listen.” – Anonymous, on the importance of listening in sales.

22. “Sales is not about selling anymore, but about building trust and educating.” – Siva Devaki, redefining modern sales strategies.

23. “Make a customer, not a sale.” – Katherine Barchetti, emphasizing the long-term approach to sales.

24. “In sales, a referral is the key to the door of resistance.” – Bo Bennett, on the power of referrals in overcoming objections.

25. “The best sales questions have your expertise wrapped into them.” – Jill Konrath, on the art of asking insightful sales questions.

26. “Don’t sell life insurance. Sell what life insurance can do.” – Ben Feldman, on selling benefits, not features.

27. “Everyone lives by selling something.” – Robert Louis Stevenson, on the universality of sales.

28. “Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.” – Zig Ziglar, emphasizing the impact of a positive outlook on sales success.

29. “If you are not taking care of your customer, your competitor will.” – Bob Hooey, highlighting the importance of customer service in sales.

30. “The most unprofitable item ever manufactured is an excuse.” – John Mason, urging sales professionals to avoid making excuses for their failures.

31. “Don’t find customers for your products, find products for your customers.” – Seth Godin, advocating for a customer-centric approach in sales.

32. “You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to do.” – Henry Ford, encouraging action over intention in the realm of sales and business.

The Bottom Line: Sell With A Smile

Using humor in your sales strategy or daily routine can turn challenges into opportunities for laughter and learning. Remember, sales are not only about closing deals and meeting quotas. It’s also about building relationships and finding joy in the journey.

We hope these quotes brought a smile to your face and some motivation to your day. For even more laughs, don’t miss our collection of Funny Sales Memes. Keep smiling and selling!

Need inspiration to keep pushing forward? Check out our 42 Quotes to Inspire Sales Persistence for a boost of determination.

For more sales fun and tips, visit our blog.

Co-Founder at Peak Sales Recruiting

Before Peak, Brent worked in sales and sales-leadership positions for 18 years. He has considerable experience building and running high-performance teams, which consistently won awards and exceeded sales targets. He was Vice President of Sales for a financial management consulting company, and served with Borland Software as a Regional Sales Manager.